In Memory Of My Mother
My mother passed away in 2009 a year before I was engaged. I take comfort knowing she knew Jonny and knew we would be getting engaged/married but not having her is hard.
I know not everybody gets their mom or dad at their wedding so I just wanted to share with you how I honored my mother.
I think it is very important to honor those who cannot be there at the wedding regardless of who it is but especially parents and/or siblings. If it is your fiance who has a deceased parent/sibling always ask if they are ok with any ideas of memorial.
I also want you to know that it is hard but I am surviving. Take a deep breath in, cry when you need to but remember your wedding day is about the joining of you and your fiances life as husband and wife. And feel free to message me if you need some support :o)
I know not everybody gets their mom or dad at their wedding so I just wanted to share with you how I honored my mother.
I think it is very important to honor those who cannot be there at the wedding regardless of who it is but especially parents and/or siblings. If it is your fiance who has a deceased parent/sibling always ask if they are ok with any ideas of memorial.
I also want you to know that it is hard but I am surviving. Take a deep breath in, cry when you need to but remember your wedding day is about the joining of you and your fiances life as husband and wife. And feel free to message me if you need some support :o)
Memorial Candle
A very simple way to honor a loved one is by a candle. I will have this candle with a picture of my mom at the alter.
On the program where we listed the parents I added at the end "A memorial candle stays lit to honor (my mother's name), mother of the bride."
On the program where we listed the parents I added at the end "A memorial candle stays lit to honor (my mother's name), mother of the bride."
Honorary Bouquet
When I was 16 I asked my mom to be my maid of honor. I remember:
"Mom, would it be weird if you were standing by my side when I get married?"
Her response: "No, your uncle had your grandfather as his best man, why?"
I then told her, "Because I think you should be my maid of honor since you are my best friend and nobody knows me better than you." Til the day that she died I had full intentions on still having her as my MOH.
So to fulfill this I got a little bouquet from Michael's, wrapped some ribbon on it and will have it on a little table at the reception along with her picture and candle. Afterwards I will put the bouquet on her grave site.
"Mom, would it be weird if you were standing by my side when I get married?"
Her response: "No, your uncle had your grandfather as his best man, why?"
I then told her, "Because I think you should be my maid of honor since you are my best friend and nobody knows me better than you." Til the day that she died I had full intentions on still having her as my MOH.
So to fulfill this I got a little bouquet from Michael's, wrapped some ribbon on it and will have it on a little table at the reception along with her picture and candle. Afterwards I will put the bouquet on her grave site.
Something old
Part of my something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue is a ring my dad gave my mother decades ago. I will be wearing it on my right hand.
Taking a picture with my mom on my wedding day!
<3
Caution!
When posting ideas about honoring parents on theknot please be open minded to the responses you will receive. Here a lot of common answers:
-Note on the program
-Memorial Candle
-Picture
-Poem
-Incorporating something of their's in your wedding
-Picture on bouquet
-empty seat
Some knotties will say that the empty seat or any memorial is kind of sad and not appropriate for a wedding, however I disagree to a certain point. It is always considerate to think of other family members especially a sibling or parent and how they will respond to it. But I don't think you should approach them about smaller tributes such as a note in program. A empty seat and a poem are bit of extremes, I would reconsider these memorials.
Yes it is sad, but the truth is it IS sad that my mom is not there. It's not like a little tribute will stump the entire wedding. In all the ways I honored my mother at the wedding not a single person cried about it, every time I looked at people I saw smiles.
Other knotties will suggest checking with the family. If it's your fiance then check with him other than that you do not need someone's permission to honor a beloved family member. So do what you think is appropriate and feel free to message me with any questions. I feel the best thing to do is ask that "I would like to honor somebody like this, do you think it will be ok?" But I will tell you I did not ask my dad, my aunts, uncles, or brother about how to honor my mother. I did what I thought was the most appropriate to make me feel my mother in spirit.
Also keep in mind most knotties that respond have NO idea what you are going through. Maybe they had grandparents that passed away but it's a different story when its a parent or sibling.
-Note on the program
-Memorial Candle
-Picture
-Poem
-Incorporating something of their's in your wedding
-Picture on bouquet
-empty seat
Some knotties will say that the empty seat or any memorial is kind of sad and not appropriate for a wedding, however I disagree to a certain point. It is always considerate to think of other family members especially a sibling or parent and how they will respond to it. But I don't think you should approach them about smaller tributes such as a note in program. A empty seat and a poem are bit of extremes, I would reconsider these memorials.
Yes it is sad, but the truth is it IS sad that my mom is not there. It's not like a little tribute will stump the entire wedding. In all the ways I honored my mother at the wedding not a single person cried about it, every time I looked at people I saw smiles.
Other knotties will suggest checking with the family. If it's your fiance then check with him other than that you do not need someone's permission to honor a beloved family member. So do what you think is appropriate and feel free to message me with any questions. I feel the best thing to do is ask that "I would like to honor somebody like this, do you think it will be ok?" But I will tell you I did not ask my dad, my aunts, uncles, or brother about how to honor my mother. I did what I thought was the most appropriate to make me feel my mother in spirit.
Also keep in mind most knotties that respond have NO idea what you are going through. Maybe they had grandparents that passed away but it's a different story when its a parent or sibling.